Friday, June 10, 2005

Mr & Mrs.M get some help

Yeps, she is finally here: Our new nanny/housekeeper!

After months and months, the woman has finally arrived. The whole process, as we were told by the agency, should have taken 3 weeks. Trust me, its been much longer than three weeks. But, atleast we are better off than my cousin who has been waiting for six months! Six months! And atleast she arrived before the baby!

Feels weird having our own housekeeper. Like I'm all grown up (as if my protruding belly wasn't enough proof) :)

Errr, since she only arrrived late last night, I don't have any interesting or fascinating stories to share with you. Perhaps within a week I'll have horror stories like the ones my collegues at work so kindly share with me.

(God please please please don't let me have horror stories to share!!!)

Ok thats that from Camp Muscati. Off we go!

Any advice is kindly appreciated!


M-Pac said...

One advice

Install CCTV everywhere :P

OceanDream said...

Ok M-Pac that was freaky! I'm paranoid enough as it is! Atleast I'm off work for a couple of months :)

Arabian Princess said...

from where is she?

dont you find it hard that someone is sharing the house with you?

I always wounder how it would feel when I need to get one!!

muscati said...

AP - She's from the Philippines.

I guess having her with us would be really huge deal if we were living on our own. However we're living with my parents and already our privacy is limitd and there's my parents' maid here as well.

But yes, it is a very change in our lives. Of course not as huge as the baby will be in a few days, in sha' Allah.

illogicist said...

Well, yes, take care, but treat her well, just remember that please.

Kazablanka said...

yeah I agree with Z, treat her well, and be really nice to her, like extra extra nice cuz i think its when people are mean to their maids they start taking out revenge.

Shes from the Philippines? is she muslim? I think muslim maids are a little bit safer than non mulsims one, i think i dont know but anyway, i will offer again to take care of your baby for you if u want :) (Note: I quit my job 3 weeks ago) :D..

P.S. No i was not fired lol.. I resigned cuz my boss wanted me to stay and work THE WHOLE SUMMER and i was like MY ASS!!!!!!

OceanDream said...

Nopes she is not Muslim. I'm not so sure about Muslims being "safer". I think at the end of the day, its all a matter of luck. I remember this woman with me at work saying that with men, maids and watermellons, its all a matter of luck, hehe.

As for treating her well, have no fear, Mux and I are quite decent :)

I guess its different now that we are living with Mux's parents, I don't really feel that she will be cramping our style, since we have been living with their own hoursekeeps anyhow. It would have definately been different if we were still on our own like when we first got married. Back then, we used to hire part timers and at the end we just coulnd't deal with them being around for a couple of hours and just stopped having any.

Kaza, how much do you charge ;) Actually, it might not work out between us because I'd want you to work all summer as well :)

ExpressMuslim said...

as salaam alaikum,

darn. your entry makes her sound like a product. lol.

Advice? hmmm. Well okay let me give you the "She's a human too" lecture lol, becuase you'll probably get the "install cameras in the house" from every1 else. lol. and yes I'm being bias becuase I hear all of the horror stories of people treating their housekeepers/live-in-maids really bad. lol

Now she's going to be helping you take care of the kid too rigt?

Well just remember she's a human too so mistakes may happen, and a baby is a big deal, so she may get frusturated and tired too!

Also remember to respect her like she is one of the major "arteries" in the house that will be taking care of your kid and come to the reality of it! (some people actually think that they can have someone take care of thier kid almost 24/7, and the kid wont develop an attachment to the personm, which is really ridiculous)

... basically don't suddenly debase her to the "and who are you to my child agian?" status when she's trying to give you some advice about the kid.

Expect to be jealous sometimes, but don't take it out on her though. Deal with it maturely and don't do anything that you would regret.

Also don't let your career and her role to your kids take away your role from them either. Don't let her always be your "substitute" for not doing nice "motherly" and "fatherly" things with the kid.

I would really hate it for your kid to end up like Enrique Iglessias... a really popular singer in the Latin and American world (he's dating some tennis star). He dedicated his first album to his nanny and always makes it clear that she is the one that raised him (not his parents). Like you could just feel the coldness that he may feel towards his dad (who is also a very big Latin Singer named Enrique) (i've never heard anything about his mom though). So still be a parent!

lol lol

And PLEASE don't be one of those really lazy people that abuse their housekeepers positions. Just because you expect her to clean, keep up the house, and help out with the kid... that doesn't give you an excuse to be a slob!

Well I hope you liked my advice. lol lol. lol lol.


ExpressMuslim said...

yuck! i re-read my comment, and it flowed horribly. lol lol. but u get my point!

nomadica said...

I'll spare you the 'you should treat her like a human' advice because obviously I know you won't treat her any less than a member of the family! But since you said there is another housekeeper in the same house, my advice would be to make it clear what their work responsibilities are so that their work doesn't overlap. In my family's experience, having two housekeepers at the same time meant an all out fight between the two, because each would claim that the other slacked off. On their own, they were really happy, but working together without making it clear what their responsiblities were didn't work. A friend of mine had the same problem too - in her case it took soap opera type proportions where it was pretty much 'it's me or her!'. I guess such a situation isn't just confined to domestic help - it pretty much happens in most work environments :)

Kay said...

GOOD luck.
soon enough she will start to feel like part of the family. my advice is to treat her like family and part of the household, but u will need to be firm, and make sure she understands what her tasks are, what is expected of her and what isnt. and i dont think u should be EXTRA nice.. just be ur regular selves, u two are quiet decent and nice enough, dont over do it.

Samyah said...

I doubt you need advice on how to be 'humane' with her so I too will spare you that ;)

Don't be TOO nice, the most horror stories I heard were Philipinos who had been treated with too much lenience. I think you should be firm, and careful of who she spends her free time with (those other girls will lead her on, and I'm sure you don't want her clubbing at the Hayatt while you're asleep).

Inshallah she'll be a good one though. I, myself would've preferred an Indonesian but hopefully you guys got lucky :)

OceanDream said...

Wow, thanks everyone! I honestly didn't think this particular post would get any replies, but I guess I was wrong :)

I agree with what you all said. Its all pretty tricky ha? Be firm yet leniant, nice but not too nice..I guess I'll just take it one day at a time. Inshallah khair.

Defining responsibilities is definately a top priority. You are right Nomadica, it can cause huge issues esp with more than one housekeeper in the house.

Expressmuslim: Enrique is dating Anna Kornikova :)

ExpressMuslim said...

As Salaam Alaikum,

Hey! I wasn't saying they aren't humane people.... i was just saying. lol lol. lol.

and yes her! i knew it was her, but I guess i let the Russian vocabulary intimidate me.. I would of spelt her name all complicated, just to be like "it's Russian" lol lol.

muscati said...

First when I saw that everyone's comments were about treating her humanely I was a little intimidated like "why's everyone assuming we'd abuse her"? But I realize that I should be happy that you are so concerned for her. It means that you are all geniunely good people- but then again we knew that already :-)

Actually, last Saturday when the maid agency told us that the maid would be arriving on Thursday I was talking to OD and told her that this responsibility is as big or bigger than having a child of our own. It's a huge responsibility to hire someone and have them fly half way across the world to come work for you. You are totally responsible for their wellbeing in every single way. You don't just pay a salary and think your responsibility ends there.

I don't understand people who abuse their maids (or any worker regardless if it was in their house or in their office). Don't they think of the consequences from God?

I've been very lucky to have been brought up in a household where the hired help are treated like family, not employees. We didn't have a maid when I was a toddler. The first one we got was when I was 8 or 9 but she ended up staying with us over 20 years. We also had a houseboy who stayed about 21 years. Even though both have gone back to their homes, we are still in touch with them and remember them fondly.

It's sad that some people do consider them almost like products. Employment agencies don't help when they put adverts saying "three month guarantee on housemaids." I would love if our maid turns out to be good and stays with us many years. However, I've heard way too many nightmares and I have to be realistic that it is equally possible that she might not work out and I might have to actually take her back to her agency and ask to invoke the so-called guarantee. Let's hope we never come to that because I am not sure I can deal with such a situation.

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